Neurodivergence & Queerness
It has been clear for some time anecdotally that people who identify as queer in some way, are much more likely to also be neurodivergent, and vice versa. It is interesting that research has recently caught up with this concept and confirmed it. So why is this? No one rally knows and, as with most things, there are probably are large amount of factors at play, all interacting with each other.
Maybe because as neurodivergent people we already feel different, or on the outside, so we are likely to find it easier to embrace other differences or outside perspectives? Maybe because we absorb accepted social cues and norms less easily? Maybe there’s a genetic factor? My opinion is that it doesn’t really matter why, we can just deal with what is.
For a lot of neurodivergent people, their sexuality or gender identity is inextricably linked with how they experience the world in general, and therefore with their neuro-identity. Hence such labels as autigender and neuroqueer.
Experiencing attraction differently is very common with neurodivergence – demisexuality and other asexual-spectrum identities are also very common, also aromanticism. Attraction is often a fuzzy concept for us – are we drawn sexually to someone, do we just want to be around them in our lives, or do we want to be like them? These are often very blurred lines.
This also leads to relationship diversity – when these ideas are hard to pin down, a monogamous pairing isn’t always easy or even possible, and many neurodivergent folk experiment with different relationship structures to see what works for them – Queer Platonic Partnerships, Relationship Anarchy, Polyamory, Ethical Non-Monogamy.
With all of these ideas being outside of the generally accepted norm, who do you go to when you’re having issues with any of this stuff, without first having to explain how this all works to a therapist who has no knowledge of, or experience with, it themselves? This is where a queer neurodivergent therapist comes in very handy!